I've lost my pants. Seriously, in all of the moving about, somewhere along the line I've misplaced like 5 pairs of pants, my favorite ones, along with my favorite belt, some sweet silver heels, and various other miscellaneous items. While it feels great to unpack finally and have a permanent place (stay tuned for an introduction to my neighborhood), I am also realizing how many things have gone missing and how many new things like furniture I need to buy. I have a lot of settling in to do.
These things that have gone missing serve as an analogy for my spiritual life. As I watched the General Relief Society broadcast last night (alone, on my computer because I was waiting for my bed to be delivered), many times I was moved to tears. i found myself incredibly overwhelmed by the spirit, and overwhelmed with how much I have missed church. I think that it especially struck me when President Monson mentioned Sister Faust and the rest of president Fausts family, and I had to go read through the news section of lds.org to discover that President Faust died in August. This absolutely devastated me. I really love President Faust. His talks never fail yo touch me.. He had this really incredibly way of talking about trials, and finding peace through them. He had such a peaceful demeanour and manner about him. In fact, the last fireside i went to in Utah was at the Tabernacle and President Faust spoke there. I remember the spirit testifying yet again that yes, this was one of his prophets, and that the words he spoke would bring peace. I miss President Faust, and while I am sad that he is gone, I am even more sad that I didn't know that he had died.
I missed a lot of Sundays in church while traveling. Just as I survived living out of a back pack, I've survived spiritually by reading my scriptures and praying and attending as a visitor in other wards. But, just like with the missing pants, I miss being settled spiritually. I've missed having a ward to attend, and visiting and home teachers. I've missed going to the temple. I've missed taking the sacrament every week and knowing people at church, and having my Sabbath days be devoted to growing the spiritual things. While I am not in bad shape spiritually, I crave to be settled and find that balance in my life again. Now, more than ever, i also feel that it is so important to stay strong and active in the church because there are so many opportunities to not do so.
I attended MY ward, the Park Slope ward for the first time today. It felt like home. And it certainly helped that some old friends of mine from college, Chris and Brooke Romney are in that ward! I'm taking it as a sign that this is where I need to be. Ah, the church is true.
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