the life of a hermit, that is.
I'm heating water on the stove because i realized that the hot water isn't working, and I can't take a shower in tepid water when i'm going on day three of not showering. This isn't a problem i usually run into (the not showering), but this week I've officially become a hermit and showering just seemed like such an enormous effort when i really needed to get some work done. Last week I had a hard time focusing while working from home, and this week, well, I'll give you an example of what has happened.
I no longer answer my phone, but let it go to message. i think I am afraid of it. I'm starting to talk to myself. Really. I also sing. left my apartment once yesterday, at 7:30, to go to book club for an hour and a half. And I was really debating whether or not to go. I've been waking up at 6:30, rolling over, and getting right to work. On the plus side, I'm exhausted from my day of sitting by 10:30 and so have been going to be at a reasonable hour. Last week I ate all local, this week cooking seems like too much trouble so i ate pistachios and string cheese for dinner. Neither of which is local. But at least I'm saving water by not showering. Last week I couldn't get anything done if anything was out of order. This week, my roommate left for the week and I am finally getting around to dishes. Dust bunnies are scurrying around my floors and the bathroom needs serious attention, but it can wait. sun is shining. I'm in workout clothes but feeling the pressure of getting this grant done so I'm debating whether or not to go out today. I feel like I am such a slow learner at this, and I am spending all my time trying to get it right. So much so that I might be going crazy. It doesn't help that the boy who was my distraction called it quits and ran off to Bali.
I'm blogging not because I have time (i'm subtracting these 10 minutes from my working hours today, unfortunately, i only count productive hours of work) but because I think i'm trying to intervene for my own sanity.
I think my time would be well spent riding my bike to the bookstore. Getting some fresh air, interacting with humans, and buying a manual on grant writing. What do you think?
Doing the Thing You Fear Doing
1 day ago