The romantic comedy lens

When my friend Karly was in town, we got to talking about relationships (I know, surprising, right?). We were talking about how we react to things that happen to our friends and us and realized that while in real life, if a guy we think is perfect for us ends up dumping us and leaving, it is a tragedy. But, if life were a romantic comedy, we would be cheering, because we would know that it will be just a matter of minutes before the goofy, shy, perfect boy shows up and sweeps us off of our feet. In real life, if your friend says they are in love with someone after a day or a weekend together, you try talking them out of it, but in a romantic comedy, you shed a tear of joy that they found each other. See? It’s a little bit different, and, let’s be honest, much more fun.

So, rose colored glasses out! We decided to start looking at things through the romantic comedy lens.

Okay, so if you were really thinking about it, someone would be hiding something big from the other person. Some hick like Matthew McConaughey would get the smart, accomplished girl. They would definitely hate each other upon meeting and then fall in love. And don’t forget the sidekick—you know, the awkward friend who says the wrong thing and is always uglier than you are and has impeccable comedic timing.

Unrealistic you say? Well, yes, but that is why we love romantic comedies so much. A couple overcomes some sort of obstacle to find true love, and true love is someone who loves you for who you are—the lies you told to win the bet when initially asking you out, the aggravating things you do that should drive them up the wall, the emotional breakdowns, the crazy family—they love you in spite, and yes, sometimes even because of these things. Every breakup from the wrong person is a chance to find Mr. Right. Jobs that are unsatisfying and bosses who are aggravating are tossed to the wayside in pursuit of the dream, which always turns out. When two lovers are parted, they always find a way to make it back together despite seemingly insurmountable odds. It always ends with “I just realized I couldn’t live without you,” and who doesn’t want to hear that?

And what does that have to do with real life? Okay, so things don’t happen in the neat little hour and a half long packages with a bow tied on at the end (usually at the wedding). But couldn’t we gain something from looking at life a little bit more like a romantic comedy? On the subway, I could’ve been Karly’s awkward sidekick and told the cute guy standing by us that she dug him, who could’ve been “The One”! The cute doctor in LA who Karly has been out with a few times but just hasn’t made a move is really petrified by her accomplishments and is drumming up the courage to tell her how he feels! And it’s about time that dashing, adventurous film maker I was dating has exited the stage because that leaves space for the real hero to come in from the wings where he has been waiting for his big scene!

If life were a romantic comedy, my career crisis would be the perfect time to come up with some amazing, fulfilling business or take off to live in Africa. And the boy I was in love with (and maybe still haven’t gotten over) would follow me there and tell me he realized life isn’t complete without me; or, I would meet a rugged economist working on some microcredit project that was transforming the economy of a village. If life were a romantic comedy, I would take my friends to Vegas after a break up and encourage them to get married on a whim or believe 100% that every relationship, no matter how short of long, could end in happily ever after.

Maybe the lessons to be learned from the romantic comedy lens are to 1) be hopeful and believe that love can happen at any moment. Right now! Look to the left! And 2) take chances and risk big, because that is when life really changes.

So here’s to sappy love stories all around.