War is romantic

10 August 2007
Chechen men fascinate me. And no, not just because I’ve mentioned a few times how good-looking they are. Chechen men, especially the ones here at the refugee center, are so interesting because they come from such a patriarchal society, and their lives are now such a contrast. Chechen men, Muslim men, men from clans and the wild caucus region—they are the ones to protect their homes and families, provide for them, and have sons to pass the land on to. With the war with the Russians, the men are losing their land, and ability to support their families, and even worse, they are losing their sons to the Russian army or tot he rebels, and then to death. Most of the families have fled Chechnya and become refugees to protect their sons and help them to survive. But here, the men don’t have jobs, and thus can’t really support their families and are in a country where they don’t understand the culture and customs. They are stripped of their pride—women social workers must instruct them on the simplest things. These men at the wedding who were acting totally inappropriate… while of course I don’t have to accept their actions, as I thought about it more, it just made me really sad and I started to understand a little bit more of what may be going on with them. They are trying to feel out the limits of their western lifestyle—what is okay, what can they do—and how life will work and how to adjust to it. Like teenagers testing the limits, they know that some things are not good, but try this western culture anyway, this drinking and dancing with close with women.

Maybe that is why they romanticize the war in Chechnya. It is a fight for everything—for their land, to defend their families, to be men, and to die, if they must, for their country. Maybe that is why I romanticize the men of Chechnya—they are very much men (I have this thing for masculinity) and they are adventurous and have experienced something so different than I have. They are so tough, and so vulnerable.

There is man who lives at the center. I wanted to post his picture, but because he is being sought after by the Russian military, I thought maybe it would be wiser not to, and I will call him the Fighter, because he looks like a Chechen rebel with a beard and that is what we were originally told. He is 20-years-old. During the first Chechen war, his father was a fighter, and so this time around, the Russian soldiers captured him and interrogated him on the whereabouts of his father. After not receiving any information from him, they told him they would give him three months to give them $15,000 and 10 machine guns or take him into custody again. So he had to flee from Chechnya and come to Poland. After he left, his brother was taken and interrogated about the whereabouts of his father and him. Before they broke him, the Fighter’s brother blew himself up with a grenade, taking Russian guards with him as well. The Fighter will live in Poland for a few years, be married and have children, and then return to Chechnya to fight, and to gladly die. Twenty years old.