I'm in the library, good ol' Bobst, and yes, i am supposed to be writing a paper. Two of them in fact. On actually interesting topics at that-- one for my Transforming the Urban Economy class on food access initiatives and whether they work or not and another on domestic violence programs in refugee camps for my Managing Humanitarian Crisis class. I know, you are all jealous. See, i told you, interesting topics.
However, sometimes I just get a little bit lost. Lost in my head while I should be thinking about something else, lost on my computer when I should be writing something else, lost with emotions when I should be feeling something else, and lost in conversations when I should be saying something else. I think it is just this time of year too-- so easy to get lost. I was feeling this was last year as well. I was reading some old blog posts (go back to last May when i started, wow, I was actually not a bad writer!) and remembering some things. I was thinking about Ira Glass boy-- remember him from the Hanukkah party and how he ended up finding the blog and we ended up dating (see December 2007 and January 2008)? It started off as such a funny story and ended so sadly. I never posted about the ending because it was too personal, but the censored version is that we got along beautifully and liked each other immensely, probably because it was a spiritually doomed relationship. I heard from him again a few months ago, and tucked that communication away because it opened up places I didn't want to go, but today, for some reason, I could remember what he said again. And could finally be glad that someone had liked me, and I had liked him, and it could go in it's proper place in the box marked "Good things that happened in my life for a season from which I learned Great Lessons". Maybe that is what I mean by lost-- remembering things that have gotten misplaced and lost in this head of mine that come swimming forward when I'm trying especially hard to think.
Now, where was I with this paper?.. ah yes, analyzing some GIS data on store location and demographics. So hot.
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5 comments:
sounds like fun! i'm in ca writing similar stuff. have you read "closing the food gap?" (mark winne) it's an excellent book on the subject. love, sus
Libraries are a great place for losing things and then finding them again. They were made to let your mind wander, so you are absolutely using it for its intended purpose. It is probably why I love them so much. But you are right, I am jealous of the fun papers that you get to write.
Sometimes I feel lost as well... but, like you said, it's more organizing missplaced feelings and memories.
You are a truly interesting person, and I don't mean that like my grandma used to use it. I mean that as a compliment--like you are someone everyone wants to know and listen to (or read) and glean from. I would love to follow you around your interesting city and observe your interesting thoughts as you live your interesting life. Intersting. (There I said it one more time!) I just re-read that and it sounds slightly stalker-ish. Hmm.
I am comforted to know that even smart, interesting people feel lost sometimes.
Hey! it would have been nice to see you, when you were in Finland
But maybe next time..
hyvää joulua!!
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